The English word ‘reconcile’ is based on older language words for ‘back’ (as in ‘return to’) and ‘bring together’. It is used to describe situations where something(s) used to be complete or balanced or matched or integrated, but somehow became fractured or unmatched. The act of reconciliation is the process of reintegrating or re-matching them. Gradually the word became used to describe two slightly different scenarios. One is when two different viewpoints or things are recombined in a balanced, compatible way that implies an equal partnership or value of both sides (like when two people resolve a dispute with a compromise, restoring their relationship). The other is when the discrepancy or disagreement that is causing the fracturing is attributed to one side, who must accept that truth and be willing to defer to the other side to achieve reconciliation (frequently with an apologetic explanation?).
A common use of the word ‘reconcile’ is when a person receives their monthly checking account statement and compares it to the written register they have been keeping of their transactions. The chances are pretty good that the current balance the bank believes in and the balance of the person’s register for already cleared items does not match. Now the person must compare their register to the bank’s statement to find the discrepancy. On a very rare occasion it may turn out that the bank made an error, but almost always it turns out to be an error the person made in their register. So ‘reconciling’ in this case means a person is discovering the mistakes they have made with their checkbook so they can be in agreement with the bank’s authority to say what the actual balance is.
In Christianity the word ‘reconciled’ is used to describe the relationship a person can have with their Creator if the person has used their free will to make correct decisions about who they are and who God is. The ‘return to togetherness’ meaning of the word refers to the original relationship between God and Adam that was lost to him and us due to Adam’s bad free will decision making. This relationship with God can be restored for people that understand what to do.
If a person decides that it is time to start figuring out who this God character is and maybe how He wants something with or from us, they can be misled by lies that appeal to their sin nature (sense of ‘self’ that interprets things in the most appealing way). They may take the ‘equal harmony’ view of reconciliation, willing to take some advice from God if it is compatible with the person’s ideas of what is ‘nice’ (again, what appeals to their sin nature). People like this tend to stunt their growth in Christianity or choose a false-jesus religion because they will only accept milk-of-the-word Bible ideas like how God loves us unconditionally and will forgive any and all of our mistakes so we can live with Him in paradise. Any Bible ideas that suggest that we are accountable for learning how to have a submissive relationship with Him disturb their pride so they are rejected. People that insist on an ‘equal partnership’ goal with God can never be reconciled with Him, just like people who insist that their checkbook balance is the correct one then spend accordingly will have conflict with their bank until their account is eventually closed.
The key to understanding reconciliation with God is like all other ideas about God (like who has the authority to decide what is good, what ‘good’ really means). It is about accepting the truth that as Creator of all things and concepts, seen and unseen, God always has the sole authority to decide what is right or wrong. Our job is to learn how to look past our sin nature’s corrupted ideas about our character so we can learn the truth of how we don’t measure up to His standards, then be willing to defer to His authority and learn from Him how to develop our relationship with Him. The story of Job in the Bible describes how a person can enjoy a partnership of sorts with God based on learning how to please Him, but ultimately failing and needing a restoration because the person did not understand how truly superior God is compared to ANY person.